Top Seven Excuses (From a Man’s Perspective)

If you enjoyed my article Why Women Lie About Shopping, you might as well enjoy this guest post by Benjamin Miller about shopping debacles … from a man’s point of view.

As Christmas nears, and the love for humans and family alike grow, we have decided to help all of those people out there who seem to have spent a little too much money – on themselves! Our handy dandy Christmas list is sure to be on everybody’s wish list! With no further ado we list the “Top Seven excuses to use when you made a huge purchase without your partners consent and are tying to make up for it by making an awesome excuse so you don’t have to sleep on the couch!”

7) Buying this will help our relationship! True for about the first three seconds until it hits them that you just spent the entire Christmas money on a Play Station, WII and a flat screen TV all in one day. Try to come up with a nice explanation as to how you can spend more time together, or better yet, have less time together!

6) You will use it as well! About 90% of the time your spouse will hound you for buying the (insert large item here) only to use it themselves! Explain this simple rule from the get go and you can throw it in their faces every time they bring it up.

5) I asked you weeks ago! In all honesty, you didn’t ask them weeks ago, and you probably decided to buy it once you walked into the store. However, good news for you, they probably don’t even remember what you told them a day ago let alone a few weeks. For better effect, use an exact date like October 12th.

4) What purchase, I don’t see any (insert large object here). This is the obvious bluff move here. Pretend you don’t see it, buy it, or have used it, all at the same time asking your significant other to move so that you can play with the (insert large object here).

3) But it was only (reduce actual price by 43%)! This will only work if you draw a big 43% off sign and place it in a very conspicuous place on the (insert large object here). If they believe you then you deserve to have bought it in the first place!

2) Because I wanted it! Before ducking from the obvious oncoming slap from your partner, enjoy in solace the fact that you stood up for yourself. The best news is that you can make a little fort out of the couch pillow for the next week.

1) I love you sweetie pie! Could be combined with flowers, chocolate or other affectionate items. This will only work for a short period of time, so make sure you get as much use out of the item as possible. By that time you won’t care if you have to sleep on the couch because you have already got copious amounts of joy out of your item!

BONUSDon’t tell them – This is the obvious choice for anybody. Just don’t tell your significant other and if they ask about it, simply change the subject. I recommend complimenting them on their hair or how well they look. This only works if they have cut their hair, but for most men their spouses will notice that they tried and forgive them for not noticing for the past 4 months.

There you have it, our awesome “Top Seven excuses to use when you made a huge purchase without your partners consent and are tying to make up for it by making an awesome excuse so you don’t have to sleep on the couch!” for 2010!

You can find more interesting, funny and informative articles, top seven lists, survival guides and much more over at www.garbagefilter.com.

22 thoughts on “Top Seven Excuses (From a Man’s Perspective)

  1. Moneycone

    #3 is the most common around here! ‘It was on sale and ridiculously cheap’!! Sure it was, but do I really need a massage chair?!!

    Reply
  2. Jessica07

    #1 is the one I hear the most often, except it’s always “Baby Doll.” When that pet name comes out, I immediately dodge to computer to check out the latest “little” debit. The comment is usually followed up with some puppy-eyed blah-blah about how he’ll immediately return it if I really don’t think we can afford it. Afford it. That is a different issue than “need” or “should,” Honey Bunches of Dopes. My husband seems to have this motto: If you won’t take “no” for an answer, don’t ask the question. LOL

    Reply
    1. Aloysa

      Hehehe… this is really funny. Next time just say that you cannot afford it and ask him to return it. Let’s see what happens.

      Reply
  3. retirebyforty

    For me I use this one the most. 6) You will use it as well!
    The new flat screen TV is for the family.
    For 2011, we will go with the “one thing in, one thing one” model. Our little place is just getting stuffed full…. No more electronic toys for me in 2011.

    Reply
  4. Buck

    Hilarious! I prefer changing the subject to be honest. Nice collection of excuses, may need to refer to this again in the future. Thanks!

    Reply
  5. Suba @ Wealth Informatics

    My husband used to say a variation of #6 – But I got it for you. (To be fair, I believe he really did get it so that both of us would use ) Anyway, he learned not to do that a long time ago. We have a limit over which whatever the purchase is we consult each other, below that limit we can just buy it.

    Reply
    1. Aloysa

      It is a good rule. We usually discuss big purchases. If it is just me going shopping, then we don’t even talk about it … Until I come home with my purchases. LOL

      Reply
  6. Squirrelers

    If one is frugal and doesn’t like to spend excessively, these excuses don’t have to be made! I’m in that camp:) That said, It’s still good to be congizant of excuses the significant other can give to you!

    Reply
  7. Jim

    5 is my favourite – always places just a little seed of doubt in my better halfs mind that maybe, in a moment of madness while getting ready for work, preparing the kids for school and answering her blackberry, that maybe, just maybe I did ask her and may she did yell “yes”.
    Did I or didn’t I?

    Reply
  8. LifeAndMyFinances

    As the husband, I understand these lies, but I honestly never use them because I NEVER buy anything spontaneously! I always make the point to sleep on any large financial purchase, and it really clears my head.

    Reply
  9. Money Reasons

    I’m too frugal or cheap to buy myself gifts, but I have a this buddy that uses many of the options you listed above. He has a boat, a playstation 3, xbox 360, wii and of course a huge TV…

    Ironically, they wrote us a check for an event we did with them (with my wife and I charging it to our credit card), and it just recently bounced (lol). Surprisingly, the bank charged us $10 for the bounced check that our friend wrote. I’m sure he got charged too, but still… why am I getting charged? Very disappointing!

    Reply
    1. Aloysa

      Wow! The check obviously bounced because all these purchases require a lot of money. Probably bought all of it on c/c? Too bad you had to pay $10. Make him pay cash next time or make him pay his portion right away.

      Reply
  10. Everyday Tips

    I could definitely use some of these on my husband if I needed to, but I generally don’t spend (except on that Ipad, and it was for him…). I do all the bills so my husband wouldn’t be able to get away with anything. I, on the other hand, could do whatever I want.

    Reply
  11. First Gen American

    I tend to use #6 but for a totally different reason. I have a much harder time spending money on myself than on other people. If it’s something the whole family can use, it suddenly becomes a lot easier to buy said item.

    Reply

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