January was a rough month for Aloysa’s Kitchen Sink. So was the beginning of February. Hopefully from this moment forward it will be smoother sailing. One can only hope for it, right?
A lot of you asked me what happened, why I pulled the plug so unpredictably. A few of you asked me to come back! I do owe you some answers. At least, I feel that I do.
I don’t have a thrilling story to tell about Lithuanian mob requesting at gun point to pull the website down because of my post How We Did Business The Mob Style. FBI did not put Beaker and me into the witness protection program, and did not send us to some remote farm in Ohio.
No broken hearted women wrote me hate letters because they felt that I portrayed them in A Good Gym Is Difficult To Find. Just Like A Good Man. Maybe one day I will get hate mail from at least one of these women. It would make a great blog post, wouldn’t it?
My story is pretty trivial. I simply burned out. Don’t you feel it sometimes? When the pressure at work is building up at a hectic pace, and you start to wonder if you are going to have a mental breakdown? When you come home and feel completely drained, and not a single coherent thought crosses your mind? That was me. It didn’t happen in one day. In fact, it was weighing me down for weeks.
I shamelessly gave up on my blog because it seemed to be the easiest way out.
Why I Pulled the Plug
I like closures. I don’t like to abandon anything and let it float in time and space unattended. Is it compulsive obsessive? I don’t know. Perhaps. But don’t get me wrong. It was not the happiest moment in my blogging career. The feeling of closure, the finality of it was painful. It felt irrevocable and complete. Or so I thought.
One great thing emerged from this as I call it “not so classy exit” debacle. Your support, emails and forum discussions made me think really hard. In fact, you made me reconsider a lot of things about blogging and myself as a blogger.
You made me feel as if I was still on the blogging ride, my mind caught in some tremendous gravitational force that pulled me back in, right where I was before I thought I left it all behind.
You probably don’t realize it but you also taught me some valuable lessons:
– No one is alone in the blogging world. There is a lot of support, understanding and care.
– Expectations should be reasonable. No one is expected to be perfect.
– If you need help, ask for it. That’s what friends and guest posts are for.
– If you need a break then take a break, have some rest, get away from it all. Financial Samurai said it the best “If you can speak forever, you can blog forever.” Ditto!
What Future Holds
Even though I am still sorting things out, I am ready for a comeback. I wrote this post with a lot of hope and a feeling of endless possibilities.
Talk It Out: Money and Relationships column will be back, and I hope for its first appearance next Monday. Beaker is excited to continue his series Beaker’s World. There is still a lot to discuss about our trip to China. I missed some great blog swaps and, even though, I cannot promise to make up for it, I will come up with something to compensate for missing all of this.
I cannot promise to post three times a week. But I can promise that I am back to blogging.
Are you in?
Glad you’re back, Aloysa! Many of us enjoy your blog, so it’s great to see you jumping back in. No pressure either, though. We all have our own time constraints, so please don’t feel the need to post more than what you have time for. Even if it’s once a month, it’s all good 🙂
Thank you for understanding! It is nice to be back. And it is great to hear words of support. 🙂
Glad to see you writing again! Make sure you take care of yourself because no blog is worth ruining your life and your health!
LOL Believe me I will make sure that this blog doesn’t ruin my life.
Aloysa… 🙂 Glad to know you and Beaker are ok! The beautiful thing about a blog is that ‘it is what it is’ . And you get to create what that means 🙂 So before it was one thing and now its another – either way…its Aloysa & Beaker! No worries, its all good! Wonderful to see you writing agin, I love reading along!
Oh, I did get a lot of questions if Beaker and I were okay. Yes, we were okay. Whatever happened had nothing to do with Beaker and everything to do with me and my work. 🙂 I totally agree that the beauty of the blog is that you get what you create and it can be anything… 🙂
Welcome back. Don’t pressure yourself. Life is way to short to fill with “shoulds.”
So true, Barb. I won’t do it again to myself.
It’s really good to have you back! I’m sure that everything didn’t automatically calm down for you, so if you need a guest post or any other help, just let me know!
Thank you! I will definitely let you know if I need help. So nice to see you! 🙂
Welcome back Aloysa! It is good to have you back. I totally understand the burnout, sometimes I let my blog sit for weeks without writing anything. Take it slow when you have other commitments and write when you want. We will always be here if you need anything. We are just an email away… Welcome back again!
That’s what I should have done, just let it sit and don’t worry about it. Oh, well… It is good to be back, Suba.
Glad you decided to come back, Aloysa! I think that one of the key parts of your “lessons learned” is that it always helps to have a few friends. I look forward to a strong comeback!
Yes, it always good to know that there are people who are willing to help. Support means a lot in life, doesn’t it?
Welcome back Aloysa! I’m glad you re-considered! Attend to yourself first, everything comes next. Looking forward to your posts and your comments Aloysa!
I will attend to myself first! And won’t dissapear without an advance warning. 🙂
Welcome back! We’re glad you decided to come back! If you start feeling burned-out, offer up a week of guest posting, that way your blog continues while you have a chance to recharge!
I should have done it at the first place. I should have known better. Oh well… I just simply should have thought! 🙂
Welcome back. I have loved reading your blog and am looking forward to more of your China posts. I second what Khaleef said. If you get to busy, I would be glad to write a guest post.
Thank you! I am looking forward to reading your e-book. 🙂
Great post, Aloysa! Let’s all try to keep our sanity together:).
LOL It is hard sometimes, you know.
Welcome back Aloysa. I had just started reading your blog when it was gone so soon. So, welcome back again.
Yeah, I remember that we just started reading each other blogs and then I closed mine down. And re-opened! 🙂 Welcome back to you too!
Glad to see you back! Blogging can be a big time sucker…( It is midnight and I am still up) but you are right, you are never alone. Take your time and don’t rush. I am pretty sure we all understand what you are feeling 🙂
Blogging is adddictive to the point that you feel that you have to do it or your life is going to go into some wrong direction… or something. So glad to see you!
No worries Aloysa! Taking some breaks is a healthy thing!
Thank you! I do feel re-charged.
This is the first time I’ve visited your blog, but I feel like I completely understand what you went thru. After my company’s 2010 audit (I’m an accountant), I never snapped back to a regular posting schedule, until now. Once the audit was over, I started watching television and dating and then I just lost motivation. And this went on for months without much explanation to my readers. It happens. I’m just glad the blogging world is so forgiving.
Welocme to the Kitchen Sink! I’ve heard horror stories about audits. Are you in public accounting? It can be rough. Any work can be rough, and then motivation is gone and then you end not doing things that you loved doing and then… you shut down. 🙂 You nailed byt saying that “the blogging world is so forgiving.” For me “forgiving” equals “understanding.”
Yay! Glad you’re back. I had a little rough patch, too, but blogging was an outlet and helped me get back to normal. If you think of it too much as a job, you’re in for a world of hurt. When life happens and you think of blogging as a way to deal, I think you’ll come out of it ok. Plus don’t forget to take care of yourself (mentally and physically) first. The blogging world is forgiving and understanding because we all kind of deal with the same issues. Bottom line, Welcome Back!
Thank you! Sorry you had a rough patch. Was it related to moving? Thank you for the warm welcome. We all need to take blogging a little bit less serious and a little bit more as fun. 🙂
Even one post a month from you is better then none! I was hoping you were working on some memoirs or something because you are such an awesome writer. Glad to have your blog back! If you ever need anything you know you can call on just about anyone in the Yakezie to help out.
Wow! It is so far the best compliment I’ve heard : “Even one post a month from you is better then none!” It means the world to me. 🙂
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Welcome back, Aloysa! I also had some trouble keeping up through a big move, and there is really nothing wrong with taking it easy for a while. This is your own personal space after all; you get to make the rules!
You were and are one of my favorite bloggers, so I’m glad that you’ve decided to come back. 🙂
I noticed that the move affected your presence. I missed your posts. 🙂 I hope you are liking your new place. I hate moving myself. It can be really painful.
Thank you for all of your support!
Welcome back! We also had a rough 10 days and wasn’t able to post much. I got some guest posts from Yakezie and that helped tremendously. So yes, ask for help if you need a break.
Things are going better over here as well and I should be able to put up around 2 posts a week going forward. 😉
Your rough 10 days cannot be compared to mine. Yours are so much rougher. 🙂 I have no idea how you guys are surviving the baby. Take your time, don’t push yourself too hard. We all will be here waiting for you. 🙂
Take a break when you need one. It’s perfectly okay. I do it all the time. 😉 Nice to have you back.
I just remembered that someone needs to teach you about Eastern Europe. So I came back. 🙂
It’s great to see that all is well, overall! I look forward to reading your post again 🙂
Thank you for coming back! 🙂
Welcome back!!! Good luck on this blogging re-birth. I was wondering too what was happening, but knew you’d be back eventually.
Don’t worry about it. Everyone has the right to just take a time off when things are not feeling right. And what’s the point in doing something because you HAVE TO. It’s much better to write because you want to and feel inspired… besides, it shows!
Exactly! I cannot write if I have to. I write mostly for myself, for fun and get some ideas out of my head and down on paper. Inspiration is essential. 🙂
Thank you for coming back! I am soooo glad to see.
I’m glad you’re back! 🙂 I think this was a very classy way of explaining your absence and getting back on the blogging horse. I am very impressed, and extremely happy you made the decision to start blogging again. Your posts are always very enjoyable.
Whoo hoo! I’m excited for your comeback Aloysa! I DEFINITELY understand burnout, and often times I find myself not wanting to write, so I simply bring up one of my old favorite posts and “stick it” on the front page. Try that sometime, it helps and buys you some time and breathing room!
Also, try and think in these terms “if you can speak forever, you can blog forever.” Like blinking our eyelids, eventually it just comes naturally to us! You don’t have to post that often, and your Alexa rank is below 100,000 already!
We’re hear to support you, like one big Yakezie family, so don’t worry! It’s all good!
Looking forward to reading your Yakezie Member post.
Thank you! Your words about speaking and blogging made me think twice, by the way. They did encourage me a lot! Great idea about posting previous posts… I should have thought about it before, uh? 🙂