How I Deal With Criticism

The following is a guest post by Crystal at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff. Her blog covers saving, spending, and the fun stuff along the way.

Aloysa recently wrote a post, Food For Thought, about criticism as it pertains to writing and her natural reaction to it. It caught my interest because some of her experiences were so close to some of my own.


She first mentioned that moment when you finish a great piece only to find out that not everyone thinks it’s as amazing as you believed.

I don’t know how many times I type up a post with a huge smile on my face since, to me, the post has heart, is interesting, and will wow their socks off. Then I’ll type up a quick commentary piece -something I like but don’t actually expect to see really build any momentum.

The self-proclaimed uber-post will inevitably be my least popular post of the week. The fluff piece will have the most comments, links, and praise. This was a downer for me in the beginning until I saw the humor in the situation…

People appreciate controversy and opinions just as much or more than 100% original personal posts. It’s the way of the world and it makes me smile. I post everyday at BFS, 3-4 times a week at my other two blogs, staff write every Wednesday, and write guest posts every week or two as well. Commentary is way easier and faster for me to write than the heartfelt personal stories. This means that I can please my audience with a ton of faster posts while throwing my artsy posts in as well. That lets you enjoy yourself and allows me an artistic outlet at the same time. We just can’t beat that, right? :-)

Response to Criticism

Aloysa also mentions that she reacts defensively when her writing is criticized and she doesn’t agree. I think that is human nature. I am 27 years old and can control my emotions way better than in my teens, but I am light years from not being defensive when something I thought was awesome is “attacked”.

I’ve learned to hide that reaction a bit, but it is still there. My first response is almost always to think the other person is smoking mushrooms or something. They must be wrong because I’m obviously right. Then I remember that I am only the center of the world in my own head and try to keep myself from calling them names. It works 99% of the time. ;-)

Learning to Listen

I think this part of Aloysa’s post was dead on, “Try to dissociate yourself from a person who is giving you his/her opinion and look at criticism as information. Take from it what you consider useful without giving up on your dream.”

I’d only add that some of my most interesting conversations happened when I took the time to really listen to criticism and replied logically. A few times, I’ve been completely correct. Sometimes they are. Most of the time, we are both right about our own opinions and just didn’t think about it like that before. That whole “agreeing to disagree” thing is a cliché for a reason. :-)

What do you think? Have you found a way to deal with criticism in a constructive manner?

5 thoughts on “How I Deal With Criticism

  1. Sandy @yesiamcheap

    So, being passive aggressive and permanently PO’ed like my cubicle mate isn’t the way to go? If I could print this article…

    1. Crystal

      HAHAHA! You know, I can deal with a lot but I cannot stand passive agressiveness. I mean, either come right out and say it or shut the heck up, lol.

  2. Everyday Tips

    Criticism cuts me like nothing else. I don’t get defensive, I usually get hurt. However, I really try and be self-aware and try to learn from criticism. I can safely say that I hate it though.

    I totally identify with your comment about the posts people like. I can never, ever predict what will strike a chord and what won’t.

    1. Crystal

      Hurt is why I get defensive, lol. I envy people who can deal with criticism without taking it personally…that is not me…

  3. Squirrelers

    I just dismiss the critics as being completely stupid people who have no idea what they’re talking about. Fools!

    No, just kidding

    Well, mostly. I guess I first get stung, then once I settle down I look for evidence that they may be right. Often times…well, they are. These can be good learning/improvement opportunities.

    That said, if the person is flat out rude or I don’t agree with the assessment, I really do brush it off and dismiss it:)

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